For some kids with anxiety, they feel a constant, subtle simmer of worry and fear. For some it comes in waves. For others it can hit them in a form of panic without warning.
Mornings can be particularly challenging for kids with anxiety as they may be experiencing fear or worry about the day ahead or events of the previous day. They may be experiencing physiological symptoms such as gut and digestive disruption or may have had difficulty falling or staying asleep during the night, impacting the morning and their outlook on the day.
Some kids may be able to tell you how they’re feeling, however, more often than not, we are relying on indirect clues that they’re not feeling calm and organised, such as increased tension, irritability, aggression, hyperactivity, fatigue, talking a lot, not talking much, increased or decreased appetite or refusal to go to school.
Creating a morning rhythm can be a powerful way to provide predictability and structure to the morning, alleviating some of the uncertainty, and there are many strategies and activities that we can add to the sequence of the morning that can support emotion regulation and prepare your child for the day ahead.
I have outlined my favourite, tried and tested morning strategies and activities, those that are proven to reduce stress, promote self-awareness and support a calm, organised and alert state. However, what works for one child may not work for another and finding the blueprint (the type, duration, intensity and frequency of the activity) that is the right fit for your child may take some trial and error.
But as you explore, with your child, what works for them and what doesn’t, you are supporting them to build up a tool kit of resources to draw upon to help support self-regulation now and as they grow.
Respiration activities that facilitate diaphragmatic breathing.
When we are stressed or anxious we are often told to “take ten deep breaths” because breathing or, more specifically, breathing out, activates the parasympathetic nervous system- the part of the brain that calms us down. But when a child is stressed or anxious it can be difficult for them to mindfully and actively breathe deeply. We can help our kids to breathe with a variety of fun tools and strategies- try blowing through a straw into water and dish liquid to make bubble monsters, exploring whistles, blowing leaves or feathers, singing, blowing balloons and letting them go or blowing bubbles through a bubble wand.
Mindfulness
When we are anxious, our thoughts, worries and fears are quite often focused on a previous or future event and rarely is our mind and attention grounded in the here and now. Mindfulness activities involve quietening the mind and allow us to stay present in the moment, aware and accepting of our feelings which, in turn, can support a calm, focused state.
Easy mindfulness activities to add to the morning rhythm are those that involve bringing the eyes, hands and attention inwards towards the body- messy play, art and craft projects, knitting (finger knitting is a good alternative for preschoolers), creating and colouring.
3. Joy and laughter
Experiencing joy and laughter is the quickest way to combat stress and anxiety as it floods the body with feel-good hormones. Spark joy and laughter through playfulness, being silly and telling jokes. In my experience, kids love nothing more than their parents being silly and playful.
4. Time in nature
Nature is rich in sensations- sounds, textures, scents, tastes and things to see- that calm and centre us by providing us with a perception of who we are and connects us to the world around us. Nature also provides us with opportunities for mindfulness, exploration, wonder and joy, facilitating an awareness of ourselves and a sense of being and belonging. There are many ways to add nature into our morning flow but my favourite is to go on a sensory walk- simply walk and take in the details or try the 5,4,3,2,1 method. If time is of the essence, check out these at-home nature play ideas.
5. Rhythmical movement
There’s a reason why we have rocked our babies to sleep fo centuries. Rhythmical movement stimulates the vestibular system (fluid filled canals in the inner ear that perceive movement) which can be extremely calming and organising for the nervous system. Try swings, hammocks, bouncing on a gym ball, rolling backwards and forwards on tummy on gym ball or egg rolling.
6. Deep pressure touch
Deep pressure to the muscles and joints provides magical proprioception (sensory information from the joints and muscles) to the body that can be calming, alerting and regulating for the nervous system. Deep pressure activities include nestling in bean bags, play wrestling, massage, squishing under pillows, rolling a gym ball over the body, squeeze hugs and rolling up in a blanket (head out of course). The right type of deep pressure, amount and intensity will depend on each individual child so it’s important to listen to, and watch, their response.
7. Heavy work
Heavy work is another way to provide proprioception that can support a calm-alert state and involves providing resistance to the muscles and joints through activities such as pushing, pulling or lifting heavy objects. Depending on age and ability of the child, heavy work can be added to the morning rhythm through a wide range of activities from stacking or carrying heavy objects to doing animal walks (bear, crab, snake) to play wrestling to tug-o-war to a prescriptive exercise and gym program for older children.
The key principals to remember is that the activity needs to be age-appropriate, meaningful, fun and involve pushing, pulling or lifting to get the muscles and joints working against resistance.
8. Use of rhythm
The basis of our very existence is rhythm- our heart beat, breathing, sleep/wake, even our interactions with others, and the predictability and reciprocity of rhythm can be calming and organising for the nervous system. Explore rhythm through music, singing, moving, swinging, bouncing or simply throwing a ball back and forth.
9. Creative Expression
Adding creativity to the morning rhythm provides opportunities for the child to express, explore and process emotion. Painting, drawing, sculpting with clay, dough or sand, journaling, dancing, singing, performing, cooking, macrame, knitting, sewing...... the list goes on.
So often creativity sparks passion and becomes a means for self-regulation through the ages and stages.
10. Affirmations
What we believe about ourselves creates attitudes and feelings which, in turn, shapes how we respond to day to day events. Whatever a child believes about themselves directly impacts how resilient they are to things such as school yard disagreements, feedback, criticism from others, changes to their routine, making a mistake or not coming first. Add some time to the morning flow to prepare your child’s mindset with positive affirmations.
11. Nurturing activities
The genuine act of nurturing floods our body with oxytocin- the feel good hormone that counteracts the stress hormone, cortisol-, facilitates connection, and is a platform for empathy and compassion. Looking after a plant and taking care of a pet are wonderful ways to facilitate nurturing that are easily able to be added to your morning rhythm.
